Thursday, May 23, 2013

Love Between the Sheets Edition: Dare to Tell the Truth with Kayla the Bibliophile

What would you say is the most embarrassing thing you have done or had done to you?

Meagan: I can’t pick just one. Electrocute myself at LAX? Check. Pee my pants at my best friends 21st birthday? Check. Lose my top at my little sister’s wedding? Check. Wash and dry my underwear in the bathroom of a pro football stadium? Check. Drank a little too much at a co-workers house and let them try their dog’s shock collar on me? Check. Have an anxiety attack at a boyfriends work party, drink in excess to compensate, and later tell boyfriend’s coworker to fuck off? Check and check.
Natalie: Wow Meagan, I don’t know if I should be embarrassed for you or jealous that I didn’t get to witness these events and point my finger at you and laugh.
Craziest Fan moment?
Meagan: I may or may not have stalked authors at the Boston Author Event and forced them to take pictures with me. I don’t think I’m allowed within 50 feet of Tina Reber.
Natalie: And I may or may not have spent my time at said event ogling CJ Roberts chest. Oh who am I kidding? I totally did, what can I say she has a great rack.
Favorite book and or author?
Meagan: This must be what mothers feel like when they’re asked to pick a favorite child. There is no way I could choose.
Natalie: Umm, I am a mother to two adorably evil little girls who I would never play favorites with, but when it comes to authors, I am a total CJ Roberts fan girl. Hence the boob obsession from above.
Meagan: And, . . . here comes the restraining order.
Pick one!
Import or Muscle car?

Meagan: Muscle car, more specifically a Chevy Chevelle.

Natalie: 1967 Black Camaro. Better off Dead with John Cusack totally sold me on that car and I have never looked back.
One Direction or Justin Bieber?
Meagan: Per my sister’s instructions I am no longer able to say I find the members of One Direction or Justin Bieber attractive because, and I quote, “It’s pervy.”
Natalie: My youngest is a One Direction fan but I still might have a small case of Bieber Fever that hasn’t quite cleared up.

White, Dark or Milk Chocolate?

Meagan: I’m fine with whatever flavor Chace Crawford lets me lick off his sweet, sweet body.
Natalie: Eww, Meagan you have it all wrong. If you are going to lick chocolate off anyone it has to be David “man candy” Gandy.

Sam or Dean?
Meagan: Eric Brady I mean, Dean.
Natalie: Can I go with Dean’s face on Sam’s body? Best of both worlds!
Commando, Boxers or Briefs?

Meagan: To people who go commando, aren’t you afraid of things getting stuck in like zippers and stuff? But I digress, I love boxer briefs.

Natalie: I would have to agree with Meagan. OUCH! But I must admit I do love the easy access when my husband goes commando. (Too much sharing?)

Damon or Stephan?

Meagan: Damon, and anyone who answers Stephan is a liar.

Natalie: Stephan! Suck it Meagan! (BTW, I have no clue who either person is)

Wine or Mixed drink?

Meagan: I’ll let you in on a secret. I detest wine. Don’t hate me! My favorite mixed drink would probably be the Carl Weathers from a great bar in Chicago. It’s made with house-infused apple-cinnamon bourbon, root beer, and served with a gummi worm garnish. Hello? Who isn’t going to love a drink that comes with a gummi worm!

Natalie: Yeah, but doesn’t the gummy worm get all squishy? I don’t like squishy things in my mouth, I prefer a much harder texture *wink wink*

Coke or Pepsi?

Meagan: Red bull. Straight from the bull’s teet. Wait a minute, I’ve been informed I don’t understand the physiology of a bull and have actually been drinking . . . WAIT WHAT?!!!!

Natalie: You know what they say, Spitters are Quitters. Way to take one for the team Meagan.

Biker boy or Rocker dude?

Meagan: Three words; Kellan Kyle

Natalie: Duece could totally kick Kellan’s ass any day. And then he can f*ck me up against a wall in a dirty ally. Best day EVER.

Meagan: I’m sorry did you just say Duece? I’m seriously reconsidering our friendship.

Whips or chains?
Meagan: I had some pretty rad streamers on my bike handles when I was little, does that count?

Natalie: No Meagan it doesn’t count. You are an adult now so it’s ok to play like one. Check out, you may find a thing or two, or three that you like.

Do you believe in vampires?

Meagan: If by do you believe in vampires you mean do you softly whisper to every crow you see, “I love you Damon”. Then, uh, yes, yes I do.

Natalie: I like to be bitten. *shrugs shoulders*

If you could have a super power what power would you pick?
Meagan: Bring my book boyfriends to life and make them love me.
Natalie: I would have the ability to create the most delicious milkshake, which will then bring all the boys to my yard.

Screamer, moaner or silent?

Meagan: Ask my neighbors. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Natalie: It’s a good thing that we live in different states Meagan. I certainly don’t want to be hearing any of that from you.

What would you do with your super power if you had it?
Meagan: Yeah, we already covered this MAKE THEM LOVE ME.

Natalie: I don’t need them to love me. I just want the in my yard. *wink wink, nudge nudge*

Would you abuse your super power? How?

Meagan: You’re really not letting this go are you? Of course I would abuse it, what’s the fun in having a super power if you can’t abuse it?! I would have a revolving door of book boyfriends to pleasure and/or entertain me every night.

Natalie: I agree with Meagan. I would have the most EPIC yard party ever.

What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?

Meagan: This really expensive niche wine, called Boone’s Farm (it’s great Google it). Anyway I was drinking it the night I had a three-way with these amazing twins. Crazy thing was I woke up the next morning next to this guy that looked like Dwight from The Office. Weird, twins must have left in the middle of the night.

Natalie: Dude, that wasn’t Dwight it was me. Now I feel dirty and ashamed of myself. I really thought we shared something special that night.

Do you ever leave home without panties on?

Meagan: Okay, the word “panties” eww, totally gives me the heebie jeebies. I call them undies. And, I think we’ve all learned from Paris Hilton and Britney Spears that no undies is no good.

Natalie: Listen between working full time, blogging, and raising 2 kids sometimes laundry ends up last on my list so you gotta do what you gotta do. Don’t judge me Meagan and stop giving me that look.

Have you ever had sex while at work (any job)? If so, where?

Meagan: Like by myself or with someone else? Cause both answers are yes and on top of the copier.
Natalie: I have the photocopies of her ass. I am holding onto them for future security. How do you think I get her to read and review so many books for me?
What is the strangest place you ever had sex?
Meagan: North Dakota

Natalie: *shouts loudly* NEW JERSEY! Sorry I was having a game show moment.

What turns you on more, reading a sexual story, watching a porn or listening to sex?

Meagan: Reading. You probably couldn’t tell, but I have a crazy dirty mind.
Natalie: Yeah Megan I think everyone now knows your mind is constantly in the gutter.
Meagan: Says the woman who’s referenced CJ Roberts boobs twice.
What profession do you find the most arousing sexually?
Meagan: Dairy farmer. It’s a long story.

Natalie: *looking sideways at Meagan* And when were you planning on sharing this story with me?
Does size matter?

Meagan: Totally! Cause what if you got your grandma some super sweet Isotoners for Christmas but you didn’t know her glove size so they didn’t fit?! Now what are you supposed to do? Give them to your brother’s girlfriend? Yeah, I don’t think so, we all know he’s cuttin’ her lose after New Year’s. So now you got a perfectly good pair of gloves, which you probably lost the receipt to, and no one to wear them. All because you thought size didn’t matter.

Natalie: Meagan what the hell are you rambling about? A simple yes or no answer would do. YES!
Do you or have you ever had a “cop” fantasy?

Meagan: Um, let me see. A man of authority, who has access to a fast car, zip ties, and handcuffs. Uh, yeah there may be a few fantasies.
Natalie: Sorry, can’t go there. My father is a cop, too close to home.
Do you or have you ever had a “Delivery Guy” or “Service Man” fantasy?

Meagan: Hells yeah! In college I used to have this really vivid fantasy. The doorbell would ring. I would run to the door in my pink nighty and fling open the door. There before me would stand the most perfect specimen of male I had ever seen disguised as a pizza deliveryman. He would slowly smile while looking me up and down. “Did you order a pizza?” he would purr. I’d squeeze my legs together, trying to relieve some of the tension between them. “Yes, I ordered a pizza” came my breathy reply, “What do I owe you?” Then he’d lean down, biting his lip, my heart beating faster as he inched closer. “It’s free,” he’d whisper in my ear. Best. Dream. Ever.

Natalie: YES and YES.

If you were on a bus and got a glimpse up a pantiless girl’s skirt would you keep looking?
Meagan: Yes, how could you not? I actually almost got into a fight because I was taking pictures to text to my friends of a girls inappropriate dress. Latex does not office wear make ladies.

Natalie: It depends, are we talking full Brazilian or not?
What is the strangest sexual experience you’ve had?

Meagan: Well, . . . there were handcuffs, a banana, and some expired beef jerky. Let me tell you, once banana jerky gets on your sheets it’s never coming out.
Natalie: Meagan that’s because you did it wrong. I told you that it has to be fresh beef jerky, don’t make me say it again.

Funniest sexual experience you've ever had?

Meagan: It involved a piece of toilet paper and the phrase, “You have a fax coming in.”
Natalie: I’m sorry I have no words to follow that.

Most embarrassing sexual Experience?

Meagan: See above.

Natalie: Again I have no words.

What would you do if you could be a guy for a day?
Meagan: I wish I wasn’t this person, but I gotta say, bang a shit ton of girls. Who wouldn’t want to see what all the fuss’s about?!

Natalie: I would like to pee standing up and not have to worry about it dripping down my legs. And then after that, bang a shit ton of girls or maybe just play with myself.

How would you describe yourself so that someone could pick you out?

Meagan: That cute girl over there that sounds like she has Tourette’s. And why isn’t she wearing any pants?
Natalie: I would be the incredibly beautiful curly haired girl sitting next to the cute girl with Tourette’s laughing and pointing my finger at her lack of pants.

What's the last thought in your head that involved someone you like?

Meagan: Do I have enough bail money for that?

Natalie: Shit, should I have introduced myself before grabbing his ass? He looks a little weirded out.

What is a question you want me to ask you?
Meagan: Do you have a Lady Gaga toothbrush?

Natalie: Seriously, there really is such a thing as a Lady Gaga toothbrush. You can clean your teeth while listening to crappy music.

What is a question you refuse to answer?

Meagan: Do you have a Lady Gaga toothbrush?

Natalie: I have the Justin Beiber toothbrush and I am not ashamed to admit it.
Any tat's or piercings? if so where . . .
Meagan: Great question! My favorite tattoo is the one I got in Paris for a recent birthday. It says, “Never act your age.” Piercings I have five, I can show you three without getting arrested.

Natalie: None yet, but I have a few ideas brewing.

Biggest turn on?

Meagan: That crazy deep V thing some guys have that leads down to happy town. God I just want to lick it.
Natalie: Yeah, what Meagan said but add to that a shit load of tats and I melt.

Biggest turn off?

Meagan: I got two. One, guys who brag. I once had a guy at a bar try to hit on me by bragging about volunteering as a big brother. I told him “Yeah, well I go down to the animal shelter and spend time with puppies that have cancer”. He told me I wasn’t funny. My reply? “There’s nothing funny about puppies with cancer. Nothing.”
And two, guys who don’t want to go downtown. Listen friend, I just spent 20 minutes playing how many licks does it take. You can take some time to reciprocate.

Natalie: Bad breath and sloppy kisses. Yuck!
A fantasy you haven't fulfilled yet?

Meagan: Nice try but I’m not giving you the chance to give Chace Crawford the heads up.

Natalie: Having all of my laundry cleaned and put away where it belongs. I would orgasm so hard if that ever happened.

Your stand on sex toys?
Meagan: However many batteries you think you need? Double it. Also never trust a sex store with a return policy.

Natalie: No, no Meagan, invest in rechargeable batteries. It will save you money in the long run. Trust me, I know.

Pet peeve?
Meagan: Anyone who doesn’t think “You’re mom” jokes or “that’s what she said” is funny. That shit is hilarious; I don’t care how old you are.

Natalie: People who “don’t like to read”. Really!?! What is wrong with you?
So tell us something nobody knows about you?

Meagan: The first time with the guy who would become my husband, . . . we broke the bed. No joke.

Natalie: There is a reason why nobody knows certain things about me and I would like to keep it that way. *wink*

What did you think while reading these questions?

Meagan: Shit, my mom’s going to read these.

Natalie: Shit, my husband is going to read these. My mom already knows I have a sick mind.

Dominant or Submissive?
Meagan: Just a second, let me take my ball gag out.

Natalie: And seeing as how I am tied to my chair for this interview, I think you have your answer.
Thanks again for being here, we had a blast and hope to have you back again soon.

Did you have anything else you’d like to say before we go?

Meagan: Three things.
One, Thank you SO much for having me, I had an absolute blast!
Two, I will be forever grateful to the lovely ladies at Love Between the Sheets for giving me the chance to do what I love.
And three, Never let anyone make you feel ashamed of what you choose to read.

Natalie: How sweet. I just want to say that I am forever grateful that I chose to respond to a question thread on Goodreads from some random chick named Meagan. I am even more grateful that when we finally met she wasn’t a serial killer. Best decision I ever made as blog boss was asking Meagan to join out team.
Meagan: Awww, can you untie her so we can hug?


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