David Michael Edition: Dare to Tell the Truth with Kayla the Bibliophile

All our bibliophiles can all thank the lovely and talented Lola Stark for her recommendation!!

Let’s start with a little foreplay…

What would you say is the most embarrassing thing you have done or had done to you?

Well… Let’s just say it involved an overshoot on a first date… Not sure if you’ve ever shot your load up someone’s nose before, but it’s kind of an awkward way to end a first encounter. Luckily for me, he took it pretty well and it didn’t ruin the fun!

Craziest Fan moment?

My craziest fan moment didn’t even involve one of MY fans! I had made a promise to the wonderful fan base of Lola Stark that if they asked nicely, I would post a video of me shaking my ass to Bruno Mars… Well, HUNDREDS of them asked nicely… Then I remembered that I can’t dance. At all. So I made a compromise and posted a moderately naughty picture for them to enjoy. O.M.G. They went NUTS! My penis got quite the pat on the head that day (pun intended)!

*Sigh* Gay or Married...  :)

Pick one!

Favorite book and/or author? 

There’s no way I can pick a favorite book… There are WAY too many! But Nora Roberts is the reigning queen of my favorite author list. Tell anyone that and you’re dead!

Import or Muscle car?

Muscle care, baby! Late model mustang! **drool**

Favorite song and/or musician?

Favorite song of the moment is ROAR by Katy Perry.

My favorite musician is and always will be Garth Brooks, though!

White, Dark or Milk Chocolate?

I hate chocolate of all colors… **hides**

Sam or Dean Winchester?

Dean all the way… I would do things to that man that most of you wouldn’t want to read about…

  

Commando, Boxers or Briefs?

Boxer-briefs or briefs for sure. Depends on my mood.

Damon or Stephan Salvatore?

Who?

Wine or Mixed drink?

WINE! I actually make my own wine, so I tend to drink a LOT of it!

Coke or Pepsi?

I don’t drink soda. Like, ever.

Biker boy or Rocker dude?

Rocker dude. My uncle is the president of a MC and those boys have some fucked up priorities.

Do you believe in vampires?

Negative. I can think of a few I’d like to bang though **cough** Eric Northman **cough**

If you could have a super power what power would you pick?

The ability to absorb and retain information by touch.

What would you do with your super power if you had it?

Learn EVERYTHING.

Would you abuse your super power? How?

Hell yes I would! Can you imagine how cool it would be to be able to shake someone’s hand and know everything about them?

Enough foreplay, let’s get it on!

Tell us about your 1^st time!

Well, besides the fact that it was with my substitute physics teacher in high school, it was relatively uneventful. I’ve had MUCH better sex since then!

Screamer, moaner or silent?

Silent sex? Really? Creepy… I like it loud, thank you!

Whips or chains?

Yes, please!

What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?

Tequila! Naked!

Do you ever leave home without panties on?

I had a commando day yesterday, actually!

Have you ever had sex while at work (any job)? If so, where?

Yes. I got head from the phone repair man at work once (no fucking joke) in the kitchen at one of my jobs. And when I worked as a manager for a parking structure, I used to get down on the bottom level of the garage all the time!

What is the strangest place you ever had sex?

In the back seat of my mom’s Ford Taurus while parked in a cemetery…

What turns you on more, reading a sexual story, watching a porn or listening to sex?

Watching porn for sure. It’s a hands free activity and the sounds of sex freak me out a little. I like my porn muted. I wonder if they make porn for deaf people… Hmm…. How would you even begin to subtitle that?

What profession do you find the most arousing sexually?

As in, what profession am I most likely to bang? I think I’d have to say cheerleading… Male cheerleaders make me drool on myself…

Does size matter?

HELL YES! I draw the line at my own penis. If you try coming at me with anything bigger than mine, you’re gonna get the fucker chopped off.

Do you or have you ever had a “cop” fantasy?

Been there, done that. They don’t like using handcuffs in the bedroom. “I put those things on criminals all day long blah blah blah…” Not sure I’d ever go there again, to be honest.

Do you or have you ever had a “Delivery Guy” or “Service Man” fantasy?

Bwahahahahaha! Refer to “Have you ever had sex while at work?”…

If you were on a bus and got a glimpse up a pantiless girl’s skirt would you keep looking?

Negative. I’d lean over and whisper in her ear (a la Anthony Hopkins) “I can smell your c*#t from here.”

What is the strangest sexual experience you’ve had?

Sex with a woman while staring at pictures of the men she had tacked to the ceiling….

Funniest sexual experience you've ever had?

Sex in a tent on a family camping trip while lying three feet away from my sleeping ex… We laughed SO hard for some reason after we finished… It may have been the permanent dental records imprinted in my shoulder from the other guy trying to be quiet…

Most embarrassing sexual experience?

See #1

Dominant or Submissive?

Depends on my mood! I’m pretty aggressive, so dominant tends to happen more often, but I’ll submit to the right guy…

A fantasy you haven't fulfilled yet?

Being in love. The two-way kind of love, not the one-sided variety. I know, feel free to gag, but I’m a hopeless romantic at heart.

Your stand on sex toys?

I have some… Do they get used? Not really. I think I’ve used most of them once. I’ve actually given some away because they sit around my house in their packaging for so long…

Siiiigh, that was fantastic… 

How about some pillow talk?

What would you do if you could be a guy for a day?

Bwahahahahahaha! I win at this question! We’ll change it to a girl though, for the sake of being entertaining… If I could be a girl for a day, I think I would want to have a period. Then I would sit around and watch Steel Magnolias, Pay It Forward, Dancer In The Dark, Moulin Rouge and A Walk To Remember all day while eating copious amounts of ice cream and crying into my snuggie. Wait… I’m a gay boy… I get to do that anyway without the bleeding hatchet wound… Never mind. I don’t want to be a girl. Ever. Thanks though!

How would you describe yourself so that someone could pick you out?

Tall, dark, handsome and impeccably dressed?

What's the last thought in your head that involved someone you like?

Bwahahahahahaha! Thank God this isn’t a family show! Actually…. That’s pretty close to the last thought I had about someone I like…

What is a question you want me to ask you?

Do I have any party tricks? (Yes… Yes I do… Maybe we can talk about that next time!)

What is a question you refuse to answer?

Let’s just steer clear of politics, yeah?

Any tats or piercings? If so, where?

Yes and yes. 3 tattoos and 7 piercings. It’s WAY more fun if I leave it up to your imagination…

Biggest turn on?

Eyes… I’m a SUCKER for eyes…

Biggest turn off?

Bad breath… :)

Pet peeve?

Authors who misspell their Facebook posts on a DAILY basis.

So tell us something nobody knows about you?

I get violently angry when 15 people post the SAME photo on my Facebook wall within a couple days of each other. The Snoopy one about comforting Grammar Nazis is getting old REALLY quick. This week it’s the “Theiy’re” post. Drives me CRAZY!

What did you think while reading these questions?

“Holy shit. I need to get laid!”

*Just for you, Dearest David. Muah!!*

Thank you for answering my naughty questions. Was it as good for you as it was for me?

It may have actually been better for me! ;)

Did you have anything else you’d like to say before we go?

Be cool, stay in school. Don’t do drugs. And last but not least: Religion is like a penis. It’s cool that you have one and it’s great that you’re proud of it, but don’t take it out in front of the children and don’t try to force it down my throat.

Stalk David!!
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