Author Kendall Grey answered 20 of our Crazy Truths!
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What would you say is the most embarrassing thing you have done or had done to you?
I embarrass myself daily. The humiliation bleeds together from one moment to the next. I once passed out in a gutter in Amsterdam. The Dutch people pointed and laughed at me as they walked by. I didn't understand them, so it was all good.
Craziest Fan moment?
I haven't had any of those really. Except for that one chick who got a restraining order against me for trying to lick her face at a book signing. That was…unfortunate.
Favorite book and or author?
I don't read.
Biker boy or Rocker dude ?
Rocker dude all the way! Ain't nothing better than a steaming hunk of tattooed rock star to get the motor running. VROOM VROOM!
Do you believe in vampires?
Absolutely not. Vampires are total wusses and were exterminated centuries ago by rabid unicorns with elephantitis of the nuts.
If you could have a super power what power would you pick?
I'd love to have the power of suggestion. It would go something like this:
*Approaches elderly woman in the fruit section of the grocery store* "So, you like books, huh? Well, what do you think of STRINGS by Kendall Grey?" *Eyeballs twitch as the magical, mind-bending power is unleashed upon the unwitting victim* "You love it! That's what you think! And you're going to tell ALL your friends what a fantastic, smutterific read it was. RIGHT?" *Twitch twitch*
Screamer or a moaner?
Moaner. Only because I have 3 ninja Demonlings with bionic hearing.
What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?
Grey Goose martini, no vermouth, filthy dirty, extra olives.
Do you ever leave home without panties on?
Every single day. #GoCommando!
What profession do you find the most arousing sexually?
Rock star. I have a one-track mind.
Does size matter?
If you're a whale, yes.
Fave cuss word?
It's a tie for "cock" and "cunt." They go together like peanut butter and chocolate. Mmmm…cunt butter and cock-olate!
What did you want to be when you grew up?
A veterinarian, a teacher, a librarian, a roller derby girl, and Queen of the Fucking Universe. I achieved one of those dreams.
Afraid of anything?
What would you do if you could be a guy for a day?
Eat every goddamn thing I could find. Guys can devour twelve pounds of food and not put on a pound. If I so much as look at a piece of chocolate, the zipper on my jeans regurgitates flabby FUPA under the massive pressure of muffin top. If I were a guy for a day, I'd also try to get off as many different ways as I could. I'd put my dick in mouths, pussies, asses, arm pits--you name it! Just for the hell of it. :-)
How would you describe yourself so that someone could pick you out?
"She's that old, pear-shaped chick with the loud mouth and the crazy-ass hair."
Any tats or piercings? If so where?
Six tattoos--four on arms, two on legs. Too many earrings to count, and a nose ring.
Your stand on sex toys?
I don't usually stand on them. Maybe I'm doing it wrong. Here. You do it. *Thrusts a dildo into your hands* How do you work this thing again?
Interruptions. My life is an endless series of these motherfuckers, and I want it stopped!
So tell us something nobody knows about you?
I'm a prude.