Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Author Amy Cox Edition: Dare to Tell the Truth with Kayla the Bibliophile

Author Amy Cox

Most embarrassing thing you have done or have had done…
OK this is horrible and I have never I repeat never told a soul this…other than the three that were in the room…  I was writing my very first romance novel…the guy I was dating and my sister’s boyfriend found it and took turns reading it out loud… My face was so red I thought I would burst into flames!  It was AWFUL!  I am secure enough in myself to admit that THEN that I had no clue what I was doing… (It was well before the FSOG days!)  Needless to say my sister and her boyfriend laughted their selves into a frenzy.  After my guy calmed quit laughing he pulled out a highlighter and post it notes and said I needed research.  Lots and lots of hands on research and if that isn’t the worst pick up line ever I don’t know what is! *giggles to herself*
Craziest Fan moment…
Ok *sighs*  I was at a club in 2002 in St. Louis and I met Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys while he was promoting his solo album.  I got a photo taken with him and I nearly hyperventilated while he had his arm around me.  He looked at me like I had lost it sort of but excuse me NICK CARTER had his arm around my shoulders and his hand was very close to making my year!  Are you laughing?  Shut up!  The Backstreet Boys are still sexy!  Oh…you meant my fans… *blushes*  Wait!  I have fans?  That is amazeballs!
Fave book?
*gasps*  How could you?  That is worse torture than water boarding.  Where do you vacation?  With the Taliban?  I could never forget Christian from FSOG…he was my first book boyfriend; but I am a total Kindle-slut and ssh *leans up and glances around the room* I have cheated on Mr. Grey a lot I mean sometimes even with more than one a day. *Hangs head in shame…* Honestly though Seduction and Snacks by Tara Sivec was speck-freaking-tacular.  I laughed so hard people were staring.  I literally had to sit it down and calm down I was laughing so hard I couldn’t see through my tears.  Turn them on and make them laugh…she says…She is a GENIUS! But if FIFTY ever asks you…YOU KNOW NOTHING!
Import or Muscle?
HA!  Right now I drive an old Grand Prix GT and I love her.  Yes!  It is a HER and no I didn’t check and makes sure!  If I had to choose though I would want an Audi R8 Spyder with Mr. Grey and his worn blue jeans delivering…YUM.
Justin Bieber or 1 Direction?
How dare you ask me that!  Yuck!  I vote that we ship them all to URANUS. *chuckles* yep send them to URANUS…one way…  HA HA HA oh that’s too much!
White, dark or milk chocolate?
Dark and hidden in my freezer.  Hey don’t judge me I have three kids and a husband with a sweet tooth!
Sam or Dean?
How about Jim Beam?
Commando, boxers or briefs?
Boxer briefs…tight ones!  No commando especially if I have to do the laundry.
Damon or Stephan?
No freaking brainer!  DAMON!  Ian Somerhalder rules the world!  Those eyes are weapons of mass-destruction.
Wine or mixed drink?
No time for wine…bring on the hard stuff.  Jose, Jim, and Jack; bring all the boys to the party.
Coke or pepsi?
Neither…I am hopelessly addicted to McD’s sweet tea.  I think they put something in it…I seriously think I would go through DTs if I don’t get one… Mc Donald’s is my dealer!
Biker boy or rocker dude?
Yes please!  I will so be the filling in that cookie!
Whips or chains?
Yes Please!  Somebody get my husband a copy of this interview and a shopping list ASAP! *Winks*
Do you believe in Vampires?
Of course I do.  I was totally Team Edward; although I could go without the sparkling!  Damon can totally bite me any time. *fans self*
Any superpower….
Mind control. *laughs wickedly.*
Screamer, moaner, or silent?
I think that if you are silent you aren’t doing it right…  Although the neighbors haven’t brought me a signed petition as of yet so I guess I may be somewhere in the middle of the spectrum… although here is to hoping!
What would you do with the superpower…
Make people do and say stupid shit so I can laugh at them… Not everyone of course just people who piss me off.
Would you abuse your superpower?
DUH! *laughs* see above...and don’t say you wouldn’t do it!  Yes you would!  Some old woman gets in the ten items or less with a buggy full and you know you want to make her smash eggs in her face while doing the Harlem shake.
Favorite alcoholic beverage…
I find it rude to pick a favorite among friends.
Do you ever leave home without panties on?
There should be a law preventing some people from doing that!  I mean seriously look at all the wet floor signs in front of the shelves of FSOG at Wal-Mart!  EW!  Have some dignity people and some Kleenex.
Have you ever had sex while at work?
I work at home with my laptop…so yes lots and lots… It is part of the creative process.  I wonder if I can deduct Victoria’s Secret from my taxes.  Hmmm….
Strangest place you have had sex.
A family member’s driveway on the hood of my car… Good times…
Which is hotter: Reading, watching, or listening to sex?
Reading!  The imagination is amazing!  Real life sex is weird and awkward it is always fabulous in my head.
What profession do you find most arousing?
Personal trainer… They are USUALLY so built and amazing looking and aren’t afraid to get sweaty and dirty… *fans self again…*
Does size matter?
Are you seriously asking that?  Of course it matters it shouldn’t look like a turtle peeking his head out of his shell!  Women just say it doesn’t sometimes because who would want to see a naked man cry?  Although he better know what the hell he is doing with it.  You shouldn’t have that size sub Baby if you can’t bring it into port! HA HA HA
Ever had a cop fantasy?
Um no…I always end up seeing the guys from Super Troopers and then I gag a little. “Come here right Meow…” That’s not sexy!  HA HA HA
Delivery guy or service man fantasy?
Um *blushes* My husband works for a cleaning company and I always tease him about ‘Steaming a rug’… HA HA HA
If you were on a bus and got a glimpse of a pantiless girl would you look?
Um no…I actually would call Animal Control and hopefully they would come and put Hello Kitty down before she went rabid and bit someone.
Strangest sexual experience…
Strange is NOT bad…*winks*
Funniest sexual experience…
Both of us had drank a little too much and while he was bringing it on home I got kind of loud… There was a lot of banging noises… once we were done we realized what they were… we had ordered pizza and the delivery guy had been knocking for ten minutes while listening to the whole ‘ending’…
Most embarrassing sexual experience…
Yeah I think I already covered that…since the pizza guy and I had known each other since pre-school.
What would you do if you were a guy for a day?
Sit on the couch with my feet on the table and grope my junk while someone makes me brownies… (That’s how Sundays go right honey?) *Blows kisses*
How would you describe yourself?
The loud one that laughed when you fell. Sorry it can’t be helped…If you are hurt I will help you but I will laugh…
What’s the last thought in your head that involved someone you like?
I love you but if you interrupt me one more time while I am reading I will be forced to dig a shallow grave!
What is a question you want me to ask you?
Could you take this million dollars and spend it?
Yes… I would be happy to help you out.
What is a question you refuse to answer?
Can I have the money back?
No habla ingles… Peace!
Any tats or piercings?
Ears are pierced.  Got wasted once with my ex and he tried to pierce my belly button with an earring…yeah that didn’t work so well.  Poor guy was sex on a stick but not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree if you get what I’m saying… ah you work with what you got… No TATS though scared of needles but I so want one they are H-O-T!
Turn on.
Sarcasm and a sense of humor…I love some banter!  Oh!  And eyes!!! Sexy eyes YES PLEASE!!!
Turn off.
Stupidity… and I mean those complete moronic douche nozzles that think being all ‘Jersey Shore’ is sexy and appealing.  And pull your damned pants up!
Any fantasy you haven’t fulfilled yet?
Plenty!  I have a list… (Again someone forward this to my husband along with my list…) *winks*
Your stand on sex toys…
You should never stand on sex toys.  What would you tell them at the Emergency room?  HA HA!  Better yet…do it and when you go to the E.R.  call me on speaker phone!
Pet Peeve…
My husband clicks his teeth when he eats.  UGH makes me want to gouge out my ears! I love you honey!
So tell us something about you nobody knows.
For every one thing I do say there are at least fifty that I bite back.  HA HA I just said FIFTY and BITE in the same sentence… Oh and my mind has a time share in the gutter and vacations there often.
What did you think reading these questions?
That my sex life is boring and maybe my mind moved to the gutter permanently.
Are you Dominant or Submissive?
Submissive…where’s the Red Room?
Did you have anything else to say?
Peace love and Ian Somerhalder.
        

3 comments:

  1. Okay, I'm so glad I didn't need to pee while reading this because panties or no panties there would have been a definite need for clean-up on aisle 3! By far the BEST interview EVER! Let me just say, I have never read your books, Amy, but after this spit-my-coffee-all-over-the-place experience, I'm buying. Okay, I have to go clean-up my eye make-up now and then I'll visit my lover Amazon and buy whatever you have to offer. Books, Amy...Books!! Damn gutter....

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  2. Thanks for the heads up Eva!! I laughed so hard, sharing on my fb wall. Off to look this author up!

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  3. I love you all so much right now! Is it sad that I laughed at my own responses? Is that like clapping for yourself or liking your own facebook posts? Oh well I don't care although Eva I have to say that I laughed at your response so hard that I have officially decided that I am altering my writing style. Smut it up will be my new motto! Lots and lots of funny smut and it will be great to know women everywhere will be reading my books and laughing while they squirm HA HA HA!!!! I had a blast doing this and will do anything like this anytime! *winks* hint hint bloggers LOL

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